


Truth or Horrible Consequences: THE REQUESTIONING!

by Zee_McZed



Category: El Goonish Shive
Genre: Definitively non-canon, F/F, F/M, M/M, Magic truth or dare, Multi, Reader-suggested questions, Rough continuation of previous fic, Seriously send in questions, Transformation hijinks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:55:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee_McZed/pseuds/Zee_McZed
Summary: The EGS crew gets together in the non-canon part of Moperville for a game of TRUTH OR HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES. Questions will be answered. Shenanigans will ensue. Butts will be seen.
Comments: 29
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> After the first chapter, all questions and dares will come from reader suggestions. Feel free to send in your questions in the comments, or @zeemczed on Twitter, on on the unofficial EGS Discord.

In the non-canon part of Moperville, a neighborhood called The Gutters, right behind the 4th wall, there's a small tea shop known for its magical brews that is doing swift business off the Bubbly Variety Pack. Above that shop, however, there are a bunch of apartments rented out by students. It's here that we cast our attention. 

Diane raised a can of hard cider. "Okay, is this really fine? We're still 18 in canon." Susan shrugged in reply. 

"We're soundly out of canon and our strip is nearing 20 years. I think we're good."

"Nice." She popped the pull tab and sipped. A little drinking was fine - it would be far from the wildest thing they did tonight. Tensions were going to be broken, shippers were going to be delighted, and by the end of the night she was sure that she'd be having sex with SOMEONE. And that wasn't just because her girlfriend was reclining on a beanbag chair across the room. 

Honestly, it was a pretty full room at the moment. Elliot and Tedd were in the kitchen area, prepping snacks and talking about... she couldn't really hear what. Grace and Sarah were spinning out a ridiculous story about trying to make a pangolin TF form to Justin and Luke, who were offering commentary about things that should have been obvious in hindsight, and Rhoda and Cat were smooching in the corner, trying to be discreet. Which was hard, given that the apartment was basically one room for a living area, plus a small bedroom and bath. And Nanase was trying not to stare at them. 

Ellen, meanwhile, strode out of the bedroom, holding two large bowls, full of folded over 3x5 cards, and set them on the long folding table she'd set up in the middle of the room. _"Hokay!"_ She exclaimed loudly, drawing everyone's attention. "You all know the rules. The game is Truth or **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES!** " A thunderclap rolled past the window outside, despite the weather being generally pleasant. "So, this is the last chance for anyone to drop out. If you stay in and play, odds are you'll end up transformed, in less than full dress, and/or in the middle of messy makeouts with someone, to say nothing of airing all your weirdest secrets." No one spoke up. She nodded. "Cool. We're all in then." Vague nods of assent followed. The last check was purely for ritual - everyone knew what they were in for, more or less. She gestured to the bowls. "The blue bowl is full of questions, along with people that the question might be aimed at. Pick one person the question might be pertinent to and ask. They have to answer truthfully, or pull a **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE**." 

"How do you know if they're being truthful?" Diane asked. Ellen pulled out a contraption that looked like it had been put together from an off the shelf beginner's electronics kit with a large red lightbulb. 

"Mr. Verres' lie detector."

"...I don't think Lucy has absolutely perfect hair." Diane said. The device lit up, producing the loud buzz from a game of Operation. Lucy beamed. 

"Very sweet."

"Thank you."

"Once someone has given a truth or performed a **CONSEQUENCE** , they get to pull a card and ask a question of someone else. The exception is if a **CONSEQUENCE** is going to prevent asking a question and will take more than a few minutes, in which case they can pass their question to whoever is sitting to their left. That said, consequences should generally be performed out here in the open for everyone to see." Ellen paused, looking around. "Simple enough?" 

"We _have_ done this before." Susan waved a vague hand in the air. "Even if that game puttered out because our writer got burned out and put the series on indefinite hiatus."

"Think that'll happen this time?" Diane mumbled. 

"I hope not. They've put _one_ `fic on hiatus because they realized they don't have time to tackle it well, but they've also got several-"

"Hey, can we get a little less meta?" Tedd raised his hands. "I know we're in a district without a 4th wall, but that's stuff for the Author's Notes."

"Right."

"Spot on." Elliot cleared his throat. 

"And in details that are probably a little more relevant to the game, we picked up a full sampler of Tea's private blends, already got a few brewed ahead of time-" Susan threw a thumbs up. "-a 12-pack of shrink soda, a bunch of clone form watches and wands, and... well, we've got Ellen here, so..." 

"Yeah, any forms you want won't be a problem." Ellen finished her brother's thought. "So grab a seat and let's do this." 

"Wait, are there any vetoes?" Rhoda scooted her chair closer to Catalina.

"Pardon?" Nanase raised an eyebrow.

"Like if I get dared to kiss Elliot. No offense."

"None taken!" Elliot chimed.

"First off, Elliot is 'gender casual' and will probably spend like two thirds of the night as a girl-" Tedd started.

"Objection withdrawn!" Catalina grinned. Rhoda punched her shoulder, puffing out her cheeks playfully. 

"-and second, nope, still gotta kiss him if he's in dude mode. Girls kissing Justin was a thing last time." 

"Not entirely unpleasant, but not particularly arousing." Justin shrugged. He gave Luke a smooch on the cheek without further commentary on the matter. A moment of silence followed, and Ellen pulled the first card. 

"Alright, this one is generic enough that it could apply to anyone soooo... Tedd!" Tedd's eyes widened. "What's your favorite kind of lingerie for a night when you have sexy plans?" 

"That's generic?" Elliot coughed. Justin scratched at the back of his head. 

"I mean I _do_ the midnight showings of Rocky Horror..."

"Same." Luke squirmed. "Tim Curry might have been responsible for early... awarenesses. Maybe. Kinda."

"Semi-sheer nighties?" Tedd interrupted. "They feel nice and they show off a little bit of everything. And they're easy to get off afterwards."

"Phrasing. Are we not doing phrasing anymore?" 

"Who's been letting Grace watch Archer?" Grace stuck her tongue out at Sarah, as a chuckle escaped the table. The lie detector had not blipped. Tedd pulled a card. 

"For..." He looked around the room, "...Lucy."

"Oh, hey. Didn't expect a question this early." She stretched back in her chair.

"What was the first crush you had on a fictional character?" 

"Samus Aran. Full stop." She gave Tedd a smirk. "A cute, svelte blonde with a badass armored suit. It took me a while to admit that it was a crush, but... totally was. I wrote terrible slash fic between her and an OC that I made up, then deleted it. Over and over and over. Never actually got up the nerve to post it." 

"Who did you tell people was your first fictional crush, then?" Rhoda asked. 

"I didn't. I told people that fictional crushes were stupid when there were real people to crush on." 

"Clever." Cat said as Lucy pulled the next question - and Diane whispered something in her ear about her Metroid OC. Lucy did not reply immediately. 

"Catalina..."

"And that's what I get for speaking up right when a question's getting drawn." Cat's brow lowered in mock frustration.

"How often do you masturbate, and your favorite method?" 

"Holy jackcarp, these aren't fuckin' around." Catalina squeaked. "OKAY! Okay, like - ten times a week if you average it out, probably? And the shower massage."

"Good choice. No cleanup afterwards." Susan mused, almost to herself.

"Wait, ten times AFTER sex with Rhoda?" Lucy prodded. Rhoda blushed a little, scratching at the back of her head. 

"Welll..." Rhoda mumbled. 

"Oh, yeah. Hey, you don't gotta be embarrassed for me, we're in Open Book Mode, right?"

"I guess so." Rhoda plopped her head on Cat's shoulder. 

"Yeah, we don't actually do it that much. It's a regular thing now, but..."

"But we aren't even moved in together." Rhoda finished. 

"Yeah. Logistics, y'know?"

"The bane of my existence." Grace mumbled. 

"Za?" A collective sound from Elliot, Ellen and Sarah. Grace glanced about - and then cleared her throat. 

"I shall clarify when the cards force me to."

"And with THAT nice little segue-" Catalina snagged a card. "...this one's for anyone soooo _Susan!_ "

"Yo." She thrust a listless fist skyward. 

"You are in a foursome! Who else in this room is with you?" Catalina grinned ear to ear. Susan's eyes had gone from their usual half-lidded stare to dinner plate sized, now sitting bolt upright in her chair. For a second she said nothing - and then she grabbed one of the cups of tea and quaffed. As her long sleeved shirt suddenly developed much shorter sleeves, her figure expanding and her hair growing bouncier and more full, she started to relax once more. Ah, the psychotropic effects of magic tea...

"That's genuinely sort of hard, because I have to work out the orientations and preferences of everyone involved, not just myself. A foursome wouldn't be sexy if everyone involved wasn't into it, regardless of my level of physical or emotional attraction to the participants."

"True facts." Ellen nodded. 

"...wait, do I want to know how-" Sarah started to ask, cut off by Ellen again.

"Save it for the cards."

"Carp."

"So with that in mind, I think I'd choose people who were bisexual or simply comfortable with being in the skin of either gender. Or both. On top of that, I think I'd want partners who I'd be most comfortable just... being with after the sex. Thus, Grace has to be involved. If Grace is involved, Tedd is involved. And Elliot."

"Kinda sad I didn't get the final cut, but I respect your logic." Catalina mused. 

"If it was a four-girl affair, you certainly would, but if I was involved in a hypothetical four way, I'd probably want to involve at least one person in male form. At least for my first time." Susan paused reflectively. "...and goodness this stuff is a miracle worker. I thought I'd be melting through the floor in sheer embarrassment." She pulled a card and read carefully. 

"Alright... Tedd."

"Hit me."

"What do you consider your strangest fetish, and why?" 

"Aaaand I'm going to take a dare instead." Tedd grinned. 

" **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE**." Ellen corrected.

"That, yeah." Susan shrugged. 

"Honestly, I don't think you could shock us with anything at this point... are you just trying to break us out of no-one's-taken-a-consequence territory?"  
  
" **CONSEQUENCE.** C'mon, guys, pronounce it right." Ellen mumbled.

"Duh." He grinned. Susan plucked a card. 

"Save this card. If you ever have to remove a piece of clothing through the night, you are not permitted to put on another piece of clothing. This counts removing clothing for bathroom breaks and non-dare activity. Once you are naked, you may put on lingerie or the equivalent thereof if no other card prohibits it. Once the game is over, if you have successfully followed these instructions to the letter, you may cash this card in for..." Susan squinted. "...one makeout session with the one who pulled this dare."

"That is a 'may', not a 'must', right?" 

"It is."

"Playing that by ear, then?"

"Wise." Susan nodded, and Tedd let out a breath, visibly assessing his drinking strategy for the night. He reached for the question bowl again...

WHAT WILL TEDD PULL?  
WHAT TRUTHS WILL BE REVEALED?  
WILL ZEE CONTINUE TO UPDATE THIS REGULARLY?  
HOW LONG UNTIL GRACE GETS NAKED?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON TOHC:R!


	2. Chapter the Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game continues. 
> 
> From this point on, all Truths and HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES will be those submitted by readers, chosen at random via list-and-RNG. So not even I know what's going to happen! Whee!

"This one's for anyone, so... let's go for Sarah."

"Hit me." Sarah planted her hands on the table, leaning in and grinning at Tedd.

"Have you ever had an orgasm in public?" Sarah's face went incredibly red, incredibly fast.

"We're, ah, not really pulling any punches on these, are we?"

"Answer the question or take a **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE**. The choice is yours." Ellen cooed, batting her eyes at Sarah. For her part, Sarah eyed the tea - then the bowl - and then sucked in a deep breath.

"Every single time I go to Midwestern Kingdom."

"Wait, what?!" Diane blurted.

"The Slingshot ride."

"The reverse-bungee capsule thing?" Justin clarified.

"Yeah. It's... really tight across the crotch. The restraints, you know. And, uh. Yeah. Every damn time."

"You rode that with me." Susan's voice was oddly quiet. Sarah squirmed, and nodded. "You had an orgasm less than a foot away from me."

"Yeah. Uh. Sorry?"

"No, it's - it's fine - I mean it's -" Susan's brow furrowed. "I think I'm going to not think about that for a bit. Sarah, please pull a card."

"Pulling." She did so. "Grace, have you ever gone streaking?"

"Streaking?"

"Running around naked in public." Susan clarified. "It was a fad in the 70s."

"Ohhh. Well, yeah!"

"What." The reaction came from several people at once.

"Sure. I mean, sometimes you just need to enjoy the wind in your fur and a complete lack of pants, you know? The feel of grass beneath you or bark under your nails and a-"

"Wait, are you talking about squirrel form here?" Catalina tilted her head to the side.

"Duh."

"I think the implication is 'did you go streaking in humanoid form'?"

"Oh. OH! Well, no." The door opened. "I mean, I'd totally be willing to, but indecent exposure laws exist, and I'm pretty sure that if I did that I'd end up in jail, and I really don't want to have to shank anyone."

"I think I came in at exactly the wrong moment?" Ashley mumbled as she pulled up a chair next to Elliot.

"LATE!" Ellen shouted, pointing at her.

"Well, yeah, I told you-"

"Latecomers require a PENALTY!"

"Wait what."

"Ashley, for the unforgivable crime of being several minutes late for Truth or **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES** , you-" She handed her the red bowl. "-get a penalty **CONSEQUENCE**."

“Oh. Well… if that’s the penalty at hand, I suppose I’ll have to.” Ashley rolled her eyes. “Even if I  _ did  _ tell you that I was going to be late…” She rummaged about in the bowl. Justin, meanwhile, leaned over to Sarah. 

“Hey…” He whispered. “Did you invite Sam?”

“Uh… well, yeah, but…”

“But?”

“He said he had some kinda support group thing tonight.”

-o-

“I almost feel guilty, you know?” Sam shoveled in another spoonful of ice cream, as Felix nodded. 

“I think that’s normal. Most people have to rely on HRT and stuff, and we just… POOF. Instachange to who we really are. When you’re that lucky, there’s going to be some kind of whiplash.”

“God, yeah. You know I still keep picking up my testosterone?”

“Just in case?”

“Just in frickin’ case.” 

“You know Dan wouldn’t do that to us.”

“I know, and that’s the worst part! We’re not in a story that’s  _ that  _ angsty, we have a cartoonist that lets good things happen - we  _ know  _ that - but - just -” He let out a sharp breath. “I’m getting off on a tangent.”

“Hey. It’s okay. What’s rule one here?”

“Tangents are allowed at  _ Tangents. _ ”

“Bingo.” Felix tucked into her own mint chocolate chip. The owner never said anything, there were rarely other people to take one’s attention away, and the ice cream was awesome.  _ Tangents  _ was THE best place imaginable for meetings like this, away from the main plot.    
  


-o-   
  
“TF Gun Roulette. Let Tedd input a randomized form into the TF gun, then get zapped. Good luck!” Ashley read aloud, then let her brow furrow. “Wait,  _ random?  _ I thought you had to meticulously program those in.”   
  


“We  _ did. _ ” Grace tented her fingers together. “And we still  _ do… _ ”   
  


“But we got the idea from the Fallout character generators - it sets a bunch of sliders to random places and adds in random templates, as long as they don’t clash.” He pulled out the TF gun. “It’s the last template loaded right now - Roulette.”    
  


“Okay. Well, if that’s my penalty, then - penalize awa-”    
  


_ ZAP _   
  


Ashley yelped, clearly not expecting the transformation quite so quickly. She looked down at herself - and there was a  _ lot to look down at.  _ She’d grown broader, heavier, and  _ far  _ more muscular. On top of that, as she looked down at her hands, she’d grown  _ extra fingers.  _   
  


“...I’m… down for super curvy and ripped. This is cool. But. Uh. What’s with the fingers?” She raised her hands at Tedd, wiggling them all. Tedd looked confused - and perhaps a little disturbed. Grace raised a hand.    
  


“Oh. That was me. I wanted to see if giving myself extra fingers would give me an edge in Overwatch.”

“...did it?”   
  


“Nnnnnope. But it did nudge up my typing speed.”    
  


“Well-” Ashley adjusted herself in her seat, tugging at her top - her shirt was now  _ uncomfortably  _ snug. “-kinda weird, but I guess it beats growing a dozen tentacles.    
  


“Hey,  _ that  _ form was awesome.” Grace insisted, as everyone’s eyes widened. There was a moment of silence - and Grace reached for the bowl. “My turn to pull, since that was a one-off penalty, right?” 

“Uh - yes, that is totally the rule and I totally made that rule beforehand and did not just think of it.” Ellen mumbled.

“Neato.” Grace unfolded her paper. “Justin! What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you during sex.”    
  


“...the phone thing?” Luke prodded.    
  


“Oh. Oh, that’s it. Yep. The Great Phone Incident. Bar none.” Justin’s eyes lit up. 

“There was a Great Phone Incident?” Nanase leaned in conspiratorially.    
  


“There have been  _ many  _ Great insert word here Incidents, but the Great Phone Incident bears a special place in my heart.” He bowed his head a moment, as if in deference to the memory. “So Luke and I were doing the do. As you do.”

“As we do, anyway.” Luke grinned. 

“And he was… well, doing a  _ number  _ on me, without going into any details. And I was getting vocal, again, as you do. And I ended up letting out this garbled…  _ noise  _ that was just…”   
  


“Animalistic?” Luke suggested.    
  


“I guess? And for a second afterwards I’m just trying to catch my breath, and then my phone says ‘Okay, playing Baby Shark’.”   
  


“Bear in mind, while the sound he made was not really  _ much like  _ English,  _ none  _ of it sounded like ‘Okay Google, play that one song that drives parents nuts’.”    
  


“And my phone’s volume is all the way up, but it’s across the room, so I’m scrambling to try to turn it off-”   
  


“And I’m still inside him, mind you, at least partway-”   
  


“And Luke is just  _ super  _ confused and then I  _ slipped  _ on my rug and faceplanted the floor - and that was when the song actually  _ started. _ ”   
  


“And that’s when he screamed.”

“Wait, did you get hurt?” Elliot seemed genuinely shocked. “You’re like the  _ king  _ of taking falls without a problem.”   
  


“Bump drills were my friend, long term - but no. It was because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get the song out of my head. So I get the phone off, I take a few breaths, I try to shove the thought aside - and you know what? It’s going okay. I’m getting back in the mood, so’s Luke, everything’s just  _ fine… _ ”   
  


“And then I caught myself humming it.”   
  


“And  _ then…  _ my dear boyfriend… started humming that song aloud.  _ Right  _ before I went over the edge. Yeah.”

“So. The Great Phone Incident.” Luke gave Justin a shit-eating grin, and Justin kissed his nose, drawing a slip. “Diane… have you ever faked an orgasm?”   


  
“ **CONSEQUENCE** me.” Diane folded her arms.

“...wait, really?”

“I crave wacky shenanigans.” Her eyebrows bobbed. Justin shrugged, reaching into the red bowl. 

“And so you’ll get them…” Justin plucked a **CONSEQUENCE** from the top of the bowl. He squinted at it, and slowly pulled the paper closer. “...someone’s got  _ tiny  _ handwriting… pick a random cup of tea, and chug the whole thing.”    
  


“...well.” Diane coughed. “I didn’t think I’d end up naked  _ this  _ early…”   
  


“They don’t all end up  _ naked. _ ” Sarah protested. “The last blend I had made me all kinds of busty and kinda turned my jeans into leg warmers, but nothing was showing.”    
  


“Ah, the Oolong. That’s good stuff.” Grace nodded. Diane’s hand hovered over the six take-out mugs and nabbed one, popping the plastic lid off.    
  


“Here’s to insanity.” She placed it at her lips and drank - deeply. For a moment, she pondered if there was a reason why both she and Susan ended up drinking the tea this early, besides coincidence.. Perhaps there was. Perhaps it really was just blind luck.* Her jeans  _ dwindled.  _ She could feel them shrinking up her legs, even as those legs developed  _ further  _ curves, hips and rear swelling in turn. Her hair grew, cascading down to her shoulders, as stripes of teal wove themselves into existence. And her bust - her bust  _ swelled.  _ But really, she expected that. When she looked down, she had to let out a low whistle. Swim trunks, a  _ mesh  _ top, and - it looked like her bra had become a  _ micro bikini  _ top underneath it?    
  


“Surfer Ceylon! Nice pick.” Catalina chimed. Rhoda and Lucy were both too busy  _ staring  _ to comment, while Diane just let out a loud giggle.    
  


“Ohmy _ gawd  _ this feels so - like - not natural but  _ kinda  _ like natural? Like - I swear, this should feel  _ so  _ much weirder than it does. I’m not even getting any cognitive dissonance outta this.”   
  


“And what are you getting?” Grace asked.   
  


“A desire to poke my new boobs and say ‘booooobs’ in a silly voice?”    
  


“Spot on.” Susan nodded. “Seems that side effect is still in place.”   
  


“...you did the boob poking thing?” Rhoda tilted her head to the side.    
  


“Oh, yes. The first time I tried one of Tea’s special blends I spent  _ fifteen minutes straight  _ just staring in the mirror and doing that.”    
  


“Honestly, I kinda feel that.” Catalina crossed her arms behind her head. “The first time  _ Rhoda  _ made my boobs explode like that, I-”   
  


“Cat!” Rhoda squeaked.    
  


“What? C’mon, like they haven’t figured out that we’re gonna use  _ that  _ power in bed?”    
  


“And speaking of, like, sudden revelations…” Diane reached into the bowl. “...jeez, I say ‘like’ a lot in this form… uh, Elliot. What’s the weirdest form you’ve ever taken?” Elliot blinked a few times. He looked rather like a deer caught in headlights. Slowly, he moved a hand to his chin.   
  


“The  _ weirdest  _ form I’ve taken.”   
  


“Yeah.” Diane beamed, quite satisfied with her pick. Elliot seemed to be pondering his response, slowly squinting off into the distance. “I mean, there has to be one that stands out from the pack.” His eyes slowly widened.    
  


“Well…” Elliot cleared his throat. “I mean, there is  _ one. _ I, uh. I tried to use Cheerleadra’s alternate form feature to make a second superheroine form for me.” 

“The short haired one?” Ashley tilted her head to one side. “That wasn’t weird, that was cute. And kinda hot.” 

“No, that was  _ accidental.  _ I tried to make one on  _ purpose.  _ It, uh. It ended up really weird.”

“How weird?”

“Well I had just seen this documentary on bees and I was thinking it’d be cool to make a bee themed heroine form and I… ended up succeeding.” He cleared his throat. “Complete with compound eyes, antennae, chitinous plates under my skin…”

“ _ Gaaaah! _ ” The sound of revulsion was clearest from Luke, though half the table let out a similar sound. 

“Yeah, there’s a  _ reason  _ I’ve never let anyone see it. As far as I’m concerned it was a one-time morph. Pretty sure it would never be useful for anything, anyway.”

“Well…” Tedd mumbled.

“Tedd. No. Please. For all our sakes.” Elliot reached over and squeezed his friend’s shoulder, then went for the bowl again…   
  
**HOW DID GRACE NOT GET NAKED THIS CHAPTER?** **  
** **IS THE BOWL RIGGED TO DRAG THIS OUT?**

**I WANT AN ANSWER, ZEE.**

**THROW QUESTIONS AND CONSEQUENCES IN THE COMMENTS, UNTIL NEXT TIME, ON TOHC:R!**


	3. A Third Chapter; Or, Shenanigans Continue And Clothes Get Somewhat More Scarce But No One Quite Gets Naked Yet, Also There Are Implausible Denials.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Check the Psuedo-Victorian chapter title.

"Okay, this one's for... Diane. Have you ever had a three-or-moresome?" Elliot lobbed up the softball. Diane snorted. 

"No, but tonight might change that." 

"So we're all the way at tacit acknowledgement that sex is likely going to happen?" Susan raised an eyebrow. Diane, still under the influence of the surfer-blend tea, grinned. 

"Doy. I mean, odds are good that, like, not all of us will? But you never know." Diane pulled a slip. "Grace. What's your favorite non-human form for sexytimes?" Grace's antennae perked. She thought about it a second - and then gestured to the red bowl. 

"I mean, I could tell you all, but I think the **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES** would be more interesting."

"Shenanigans?" 

"Shenanigans." She nodded, as Diane rummaged about in the bowl and drew another slip. 

"Whoever is sitting on either side of you must remove a piece of clothing. Socks and shoes do not count." Grace threw up her hands in triumph as Luke and Tedd glanced at each other. 

"Well." Luke peeled his shirt off. "Not like I didn't see this coming eventually."

"Yeah, I'm almost considering getting naked so I can put some lingerie on and call it good from that first **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE**." Tedd agreed, removing his shirt as well. Elliot pointedly tried not to look in his direction, or Luke's. Sarah, on the other hand, was in full ogle mode as Grace drew a truth. 

"Ellen..." Ellen's face immediately contorted into an evil grin.

"Ooh, excellent. Hit me with your worst."

"Have you ever had sexy thoughts about a family member?" Ellen's grin faded into a careful lack of expression, her tone going completely flat. 

"...To abide by an arrangement I made before the game, I will ask you to choose a **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCE** instead." Elliot pulled his shirt over his face. No one was bold enough to comment on that. Grace shrugged and pulled a **CONSEQUENCE** \- and then burst out laughing. "Grace. Grace, that is a worrying laugh-"

"The person to your left and right must each remove one piece of your clothing. Socks and shoes don't count." Elliot sighed. 

"So we're really doing this, huh?" 

"Brother dearest, you know that **HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES** often target someone sitting next to you." Ellen grinned. "And our arrangement didn't cover HORRIBLE **CONSEQUENCES**."

"I'm fairly certain it also didn't include acknowledging it." Elliot mumbled as he pulled off Ellen's top over her head. She leaned back, back arched enough that her tits were shoved forward in her bra. Nanase considered the situation - and then undid her pants. "Ooh. Getting me halfway there rather than getting me topless?"

"I could, but -" She knelt, tugging on the bottom of Ellen's jeans. "I have a strategy in mind." 

"Stare at Ellen's legs is a strategy?" She snickered, but still drew once they were done. "...Susan."

"Yo."

"Does the carpet match the changed-by-awakening drapes?" 

"It does." Susan nodded once. There was a brief pause. "...is that the whole question?"

"Uh. Yeah." Ellen coughed. 

"Hm. I feel like I should expound more, but 'yes I have dark blue pubic hair' is sort of a straightforward thing." Susan drummed her fingers together a moment. In her mildly tea-ified state she felt... good. Relaxed. Like she had once imagined that booze would make her feel, before her mother started drinking and dispelled that cartoon-inflicted assumption. So it was with a very slight mischievous grin that she pulled the next question. 

"...Hmm..."

"That's a dangerous 'hmm'." Sarah crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. 

"Nanase. We've all put **CONSEQUENCE** s into the bowl. What's the most outrageous **CONSEQUENCE** you put in?" Nanase's eyes went wide. 

"Oh, come on, I thought this was going to be anonymous!" 

"Oh?" Susan couldn't help but to smile wider. "So it must be particularly naughty. Or terrifying. Or both."

"Uh..."

"All you have to do if you want to remain anonymous is to have me pull a **CONSEQUENCE**. I'm not saying that's better. Or that's worse. I mean, you could pull the one that you're so worried about revealing, and-"

"Alright, alright! The worst one I put in was 'Choose someone at the table at random. You have to act as their slave for the next twenty-four hours.' Kinda classic, and we don't have anyone who would really abuse that."

"I would." Ashley raised a hand. 

"Likewise." Lucy rubbed the back of her head. 

"Uh, yeah." Diane coughed. Sarah didn't say anything, but she was pointedly looking away from everyone. A moment passed. She finally looked over at Ellen, who just shrugged, giving her a sheepish grin. Nanase sighed. 

"Okay. Okay, so I do have a lot of friends who are raging perverts, and we all DID kind of consent to this sort of shenanigans ahead of time..."

"I think it's amusing that you set yourself apart from that." 

"I'm a pervert, but I don't think I'm a 'raging' pervert. 'Simmering', at the best." 

"So you and Fox dressed as a schoolgirl and-"

"ANYWAY." She cut Ellen off and pulled a card quickly. "Rhoda. Tell us about a fantasy of yours. The less plausible, the better." Rhoda blinked a few times. She'd been flying under the radar so nicely, and yet...

"Well, most of my fetishes are really kinda plausible now. I can shapeshift almost at will, AND I can shrink and grow people around me, AND shapeshift them as well... so really, I have to go with what's personally implausible..." She fidgeted. "...n-no, you know what? CONSEQUENCE me!" 

"Yeah, I feel you." Catalina took Rhoda's hand and kissed it. Rhoda squeezed her hand back, and then turned to Nanase. "...I know what she was gonna say, and that's some fuckin' PERSONAL shit. Maybe later tonight." 

"I... can get that." She glanced at Diane pointedly, who pretended not to notice the intent, and pulled a small slip - and then laughed. 

"Uh. Well, then."

"What? Did - did you just pull the one you had to confess to writing?"

"Nnnno." Nanase hissed. "...Reverse Consequence: Whoever pulls this card and reads it has to perform one **CONSEQUENCE** for someone else, at the discretion of the person who would have been **CONSEQUENCE** 'd. As payment for this boon, the one who gets to choose when the victim takes the **CONSEQUENCE** for someone else must remove their underwear and give it to the victim (if any remain)."

"...hee. Okay, that's... kinda awesome." Rhoda grinned. "So that means that I have to hand you my panties..."

"And bra. Underwear counts both."

"Right. Hold on." Rhoda retracted both arms into her top, and with a sharp wriggle, the lace and underwire thing flopped out the bottom. She slid her arms back, unclasped it, and handed it to Nanase. Then the panties, which was a simpler affair - she simply reached up her skirt, slid them to the ground, and handed them over. It was short. It wasn't sensuous or a striptease that showed off what was beneath before replacing clothing. And yet, several of the players were blushing at the display. Including Nanase, who was trying to play it cool - and thankfully, Rhoda was happy to keep distracting. "Right! My turn!" She practically dove on the bowl, pulling another slip. "For..." Her eyes traced over the assembled players. They briefly - briefly - paused on Diane, and then Lucy, and then - "Catalina!" 

"Either this is a softball, or it's something you really think is intriguing."

"Both! If you were to swap forms with someone in this room, right now, who would it be?"

"Hoo. Okay, hard one. I mean everyone here is kinda cute. Probably not one of the guys - I'm a little curious about what it feels like, but not THAT curious?"

"We can sate that curiosity whenever you want." Grace gestured to the pile of random watches that was set aside. 

"I know, I know - but the question is who I'd swap with NOW, and I'm thinking if it wasn't Rhoda, which would be fun, prrrrobably Ashley? Super-amazon-muscles would be cool to try out."

"They ARE cool." Ashley nodded, flexing a little. "Still not sure how I feel about having eight fingers per hand though." Cat pulled a slip and glanced at it.

"...okay, this is for everyone."

"So who are you picking?"

"No, literally EVERYONE. And I quote - 'Clusterbomb question! Everyone must answer. Anyone who lies or tries to back out shares in the same dare.'"

" **CONSEQUENCE**." Ellen corrected. 

"Just reading what it says, but yeah. And the actual truth..."

**WHAT WILL THE QUESTION BE?**   
**HOW IS GRACE STILL NOT NAKED?**   
**SERIOUSLY THE LONGER THIS GOES THE MORE IMPLAUSIBLE IT GETS.**   
**TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT ON TOHC:R!**


	4. Chapter 00000100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THINGS. ESCALATE.

"What's your favorite sex toy? Be descriptive, no one-word answers here." For a second, no one answered. "Well I guess I'll get this one started - it's just a little pocket rocket? Like - ordinary vibrator, runs on one double-A, still works well enough for me." She shrugged. "That's the only one I've got. And like I said earlier, I usually just use the shower massage. Rhoda?"

"My Hitachi." She rubbed at the back of her neck. "It's a really, really strong 'magic wand' style vibrator. One of the originals. It also works for backrubs... it's really loud and bulky, though, so I don't use it much." 

"I have one of those too." Lucy nodded. "But it's one of the newer ones with the rechargeable battery. Still, it's really good."

"Leave it a few inches down between your thighs and it still does the job." Rhoda nodded. 

"Am I the only person here who doesn't have one?" Diane mumbled. All eyes turned towards her. Ashley coughed. 

"I think that's a 'yes'." Elliot finally said after a second. 

"Nothing?" Grace probed. "Not even a good shower massage?"

"Oh, well I've got one of those." Diane rubbed at the back of her head. "It gets a good workout every now and then..."

"What happened to that rabbit you used to have?" Lucy's brow furrowed. Diane coughed. 

"Burned out. I mean I've HAD some toys, but... they all tend to kind of... break. Quickly."

"Niiiice." Ellen threw a thumbs up. Diane sighed. 

"Not from overuse, more like I'm jinxed. One time I spent a hundred and twenty on a 'smart vibe' that hooked up to my phone, and it fried itself ten minutes into using it. I just decided it was easier to, like, stick to my fingers after that."

"And my fingers." Lucy put in. Diane snorted, and nodded, squeezing her girlfriend's hand. 

"Ellen." Nanase said. 

"What? You know which one I like best."

"No, you're my favorite sex toy." Her grin spread. 

"Oh, come on! Totally not what we were going for!" Catalina complained. 

"Ah ha! And you admit you wrote that question!" Nanase's grin widened. Catalina stared a second - then shrugged. 

"Well duh. But I mean 'inanimate thing that isn't a person', not your partner." 

"Mph. So I can't say 'Fox' either?" 

"Nope."

"Fiiiine. I have a nice strap-on that we use from time to time. Good and bulky, fits great, and transmits enough feeling that the wearer gets something good from it." 

"Gotta say that's a really good one." Ellen nodded. "If only because it's our largest."

"Aren't those usually designed so you can swap them out?" Ashley asked. 

"Well yeah, but we don't have another toy that can fit the harness at the moment. Neither of us have a really BIG collection. Though speaking of big...?" She nudged Elliot. Who turned several shades of red, and sighed. 

"...I think I'll take the consequence."

"Aw, c'mon!" 

"No, I'm good." Elliot raised both hands. He was done. 

"Well, if you aren't telling, neither am I." Ellen folded her arms. 

"Didn't you just-"

"Nope. I said it was good, not my favorite." Ellen stuck her tongue out. Sarah cleared her throat. 

"...Bad Dragon's Nocturne model. Extra large. And, uh. Purple." Diane let out a sharp whistle. 

"Aren't those things like - over a foot long-"

"No!" Sarah squinted. "I mean they do make SOME that are that big, but this one's - this one's reasonable-sized! It's not even a foot. It's - it's girthy enough to stretch me and it's firm but yielding and it just really feels NICE... but it's not one of those crazy ones." Grace pointedly looked over at the lie detector - which did not blink. She nodded. 

"My favorite is the Clone-A-Willy we did of Tedd." 

"...you made a dildo out of Tedd's junk?" Justin's eyes lit up. Tedd coughed. 

"She really wanted one, and it was actually pretty easy to make. The only awkward part was staying hard a while while the mold set up, and she made that as easy as she could." 

"Boobs make everything easier that way." Grace nodded. "I will give an honorable mention to Mister Twitchy, who did his best before his death."

"He was Grace's first vibrator." Tedd translated. "And he DID burn up from overuse."

"Which was to be expected since he was the cheapest vibrator at Spencer's, but still. How `bout you, Teddy?"

"I really can't get out of this one without a dare, can I?" He sighed. "...so I guess the clone-" BZZT. He squinted. "Didn't even get it out all the way. Yeah, I'm taking the **CONSEQUENCE**. Justin?"

"Also taking the **CONSEQUENCE**."

"Really?" Luke snickered. "At this point I don't think you have anything to fear."

"I don't, but still. Ellen isn't the only one that craves wacky shenanigans here." 

"Well, I can say that I don't actually like toys that much." Luke shrugged. "So my favorite is anything that I can use with someone... so... maybe a vibrating cock ring? They're disposable and cheap and pretty fun." 

"I have one that's... basically a motorized tongue." Ashley reddened slightly at the admission. "It's silly and weird, but it feels REALLY good the way it squirms around inside you. Not as good as a real tongue, but a whole lot longer."

"And I will take a **CONSEQUENCE**." Susan folded her hands. "Less for embarrassment, and more because I'm curious as to what sort of CONSEQUENCE I'll be sharing." 

"Fair enough..." Catalina pulled from the bowl. A beat passed. She grinned. "...well that escalated quickly."

"Dare I ask?"

"Choose one item of clothing you're presently wearing." She looked around. "Go on, choose it."

"My shirt." Susan said. 

"My... left sock?" Justin shrugged. 

"Do my glasses count?" Tedd bit his lip. Catalina looked him over and nodded.

"This time, sure."

"My underwear." Elliot rubbed the back of his head. 

"Well since I'm _down_ to my underwear..." Ellen grinned. "I guess my panties."

"Take everything else off." Catalina finished. Ellen thrust both hands skyward. 

"Proper nudity time!" She slid out of her bra and tossed it aside, as Elliot slid out of his pants. 

"Well... that could have gone worse..." 

"I'm stuck wearing _one_ sock." Justin complained. "Can I keep both on? Just for symmetry?"

"You specified one, you get to keep one." Catalina shook her head. Justin sighed dramatically, as he finished stripping down, rippling musculature and semi-flaccid member on display. He was fairly well hung - not huge, but definitely a bit above average. Sarah tried not to stare, but - well, it was just THERE. Conversely, the staring at Ellen's tits was considerably more blatant from several parties around the table. Tedd tried to cover himself briefly, before just letting it all hang out - he was extremely aroused, hard as a rock, and blushing all over. Lastly, the now-almost-naked Susan was earning a long stare from Catalina. Who looked as if she was about to detonate. While Susan gave Tedd an appreciative glancing over. "...`kayso there's no rules for who gets it after a question like that, so just - someone who got the CONSEQUENCE pick one?" Before anyone else could, Susan snatched a question.

"...Question for... Lucy."

"I'm ready."

"You're in a relationship. Where's the line? What is the dirtiest thing that your partner could ask you to do that you would actually be willing to do?" She gave Lucy an innocent little smile as Lucy stuttered, and then shook her head.

"I'm - I don't think I'm going there. Uh. Consequence, please?"

" **CONSEQUENCE**." Ellen grumbled. "It's not that hard to pronounce right."

"If you insist." Susan pulled another slip of paper. "...Look to the person to your right. They get to transform you however they like. You may not replace clothing that falls off or tears from the change." 

"Okay, well that's-" She turned. Rhoda gave her a thin smile. "...I'm going to end up naked now, aren't I?"

"Probably!" Rhoda raised her hand and Lucy dwindled, shrinking. To half size. To half scale. To smaller. It was a sudden, and very dramatic thing - to Lucy's point of view, it was as if her clothes were rapidly loosening, growing first to significantly larger and looser, then to comically large, billowing off her and tenting around her, and then falling off entirely as they spread and fell about her like a discarded tent that no longer had its poles to hold it up. When Rhoda was done, she was about the size of a Barbie doll, very much naked, and otherwise bearing the same proportions she had before. Honestly, the sudden loosening of all her clothes had been so engrossing that she'd barely noticed the fact that the chair under her had - relatively speaking - expanded to slide beneath her legs, or the towering of everyone around her. That SHOULD have been what her focus was on, but nope, she'd been too engrossed with the immediate and obvious. She raised her hands, and Rhoda picked her up and handed her to Diane. "How's it feel?"

"...really disorienting?" Diane lifted her up, and Lucy climbed onto her shoulder, taking a seat atop the fishnet mesh. "Also, kinda cold."

"It's not that bad in here, is it?" Nanase glanced around. 

"I'll turn up the heat." Grace popped up to her feet and darted over to the thermostat, as Lucy gestured to the bowl. 

"Cool. Uh. Diane, could you?"

"Sure." She reached in, rummaging around, and pulled back a strip for Lucy to read. 

"Heh. Okay, so - question for Grace-"

" **CONSEQUEEEEEENCE**." 

"And I saw that coming. For the record, the question was about pizza preferences."

"Oh, that's barely questionworthy. For the record, I'll eat it with pineapple, but I won't order it that way." Grace grinned ear to ear as Diane drew from the other bowl. 

"...ooh. Okay. Pick a random person in the room." Grace pondered the dare a moment. 

"Nanase?" Nanase gave her a thin smile. 

"Either you're trying to get naked, or you're trying to get me naked."

"Well doy. I'm now officially way too fully dressed." Grace stuck out her tongue as Lucy cleared her throat. 

"Actually, you both are. 'Go into the other room and trade full-body massages. You may wear towels afterward if you choose.' And... I'm guessing either you pull your question before you go, or you pass to someone else." 

"Tedd, you've got question pulling duty. Nase, let's get you oiled up and relaxed!" 

"Yeah, good luck with that second one..." Nanase mumbled, following Grace. Tedd popped up, darting in after then - earning a few raised eyebrows - and then he returned with a black, lacy bra and pair of panties. 

"Well, the rules did say I can put underwear back on after I get totally naked."

"And to the letter you followed them." Susan deadpanned, as Tedd shifted into girl mode, his member dwindling and receding, chest popping outwards, full and perky, hips swelling just slightly. She dressed rapidly, sitting down. 

"Okay. Okay, sorry, just - heh. Just wanted to get something on. Um - right. Right, so -" She reached into the bowl again. 

**WELL THAT WENT QUICKER THAN EXPECTED.**  
**WILL THE MASSAGE DEVOLVE INTO SEXYTIMES, OR STAY AS AN ACTUAL MASSAGE?**  
**WILL TEDD CASH OUT HER COUPON FOR SUSAN MAKEOUTS?**  
**WILL LUCY STAY TINY?**

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON TOHC:R!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a PATREON! Patreon.com/zeemczed - Check it out for more original writing.


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